Lawn Bowls

The only blood-free, non-contact Aussie sport is lawn bowls, which resembles bocce and boules. With a 6-pack and barefeet (the only way to do it), we engaged in a 2-hour session of extremely competitive lawn bowls. To give you a good idea of our surroundings, there was a bachelorette party with girls in sundresses and a birthday party where everyone was wearing ridiculously tacky wigs. Traditionally speaking, however, lawn bowls attire is primarily white and enjoyed by an older crowd.

It was Team USA vs. Team Aussie (BJ and Tayte). It took us a while to get a feel for the game and work out a good strategy, but naturally we staged a legendary comeback. We've opted to retire early from the sport because our current lifestyle couldn't handle the fame. However, recreationally speaking, it's quite perfect for a Saturday afternoon.

We've decided to make our millions by opening a lawn bowls club and meat pie store in Chapel Hill (late night, of course) because it's so fratty and college. Any investors?